I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize