I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We left the knife in your bed.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
