I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize