im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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