I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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