sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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