my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
