You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
