was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
