I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
