I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
