It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
