I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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