we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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