the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
