i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I take back everything I said about communal showers
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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