Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
