He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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