Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I am in a vortex of obligation.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
