do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize