hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
