I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
