You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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