ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
