why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
