I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
