I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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