he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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