I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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