he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
