I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
