I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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