this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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