Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
