I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
