Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
