1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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