Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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