He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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