hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
