i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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