fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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