roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
