I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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