once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You made out with two different species that night
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
