this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
