Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
