apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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