Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
