I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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