i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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