hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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