Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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