Apparently you make a good broom.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
