My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
