I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
