are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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