I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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