he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
