some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
